One thing I have realized in my personal growth journey is that every situation does not deserve a reaction. My father told me in my 20s, people are the same when they meet you and when they leave you. There is nothing that you can do to change their way of thinking so why bother? I used to take things so personal with people who should have meant nothing to me and wasted a lot of energy.
It’s unbelievable how much of my time was spent arguing with people on the road, going off on anyone in customer service and confronting friends and/or associates with petty nonsense.
A situation happened recently where I had to say to myself, “do you really want to leave your peaceful mindset for this fool”? At the gym, this man felt the need to raise his voice to me over an honest mistake. Now, this person in the past would have gotten loud and possibly put my hands on him but the person I am today felt sorry for him. When I walked away, I could spot this man and his insecurities from the East Coast to the West! It was clear that he really treats women like this all of the time! There is something in his past or present that makes him act this way and I didn’t care to find out! It was evident to me that he was looking for a fight, a reason to let the situation escalate. No sir, not my problem! My job is to stay clear and allow him to find another woman at the wrong time, then he will learn his lesson; it is not my place to teach him what he should have learned as a young man.
Being a mother put a lot of things into prospective but really I began this journey in my 20s as a single woman. When you are busy, focusing on yourself, there is no time to worry about others and their thoughts. When you wake up everyday with a new goal in mind, a rude waitress cannot do a thing to get me off track. If I am dissatisfied with the way I’m being treated, I ask for another person or just simply leave. If the person in traffic does something that you don’t like, drive away from them. If you feel they are doing something life threatening, call 911 and move on!!
I bet you are saying “Not me, I would do this and that”! At this point in my life, I am blessed with a lot including a beautiful child and marriage. I acquired these things after learning to set my emotions aside without reacting to every silly situation; this happens when you no longer seek approval or validation from people as well. It is hard but a part of growth is rejecting the idea of having a reaction where one is not needed. You have to step back and realize that this person has an issue that is way beyond your control.
Once you have mastered this rule, you are ready to tackle tougher adversities. This will take you into how you to handle relationships, family members, friends, in-laws and co-workers. People will see you leading by example; this will teach others to adjust to your way of thinking instead of theirs. There have been numerous instances where a tense situation was turned around because I remained calm.
Never allow anyone to throw you so far off course that you lose sight of where you are going! The battle is never yours regardless of how much adrenaline is pumping through your veins! Leave the fight for something or someone more meaningful. –Mrs. Tahirah